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Hello all. I am trying to this updating thing a regular event. It's quite a challenge. I guess that shows part of my inconsistency...I am honestly working on that. Well, it is 2:15 in the A.M. and I can't sleep. What in the world??? Anyone who knows me, knows that I never miss out on sleep. I must really be thinking about some things. Trust me; I am! 

Issue # 1 - I have a friend that has a friend that he/she really cares about. This could possibly be he/she mate. He/she is slowly falling in with person and attachment...there is no denying. Well, the issue is that he/she's ex-?friend is in the picture.  He/she is having a little problem dealing with this. Oh, and let me mention that he/she feels that he/she feels that the ex-lover and future mate still have chemistry.

He/she realizes that people have a past. That's just understandable. The thing is he/she has never really had to deal with an ex-lover. The only thing he/she has had to deal with is the fact that maybe someone likes he/she present lover or an ex-lover that is not really present. This friend's ex-lover goes to the same dag'em school and has to see this person everyday. He/she excepts that the future mate is telling he/she that all is done....but is it really? From what I observe it is some unfinished business that the ex-lover and future mate needs to resolve before my friend puts he/she self out there. Actually, it is kinda too late, but there is a such thing as slowing down, and giving space to make sure that all is well and that the attention needed from my friend can be given to he/she without the distraction from this ex-lover. If this is what the future mate needs, I pray he/she tells my friend this. I would hate to see my friend get hurt.  Quick note: I slash tires, key cars, destroy windows, vandalize items, and call parents...if you would like to know more, please try me and I promise this will happen. Satisfaction Guaranteed. 

Issue # 2- I am saved, now. Actually, I have been saved, but not really just trying to live my the WHOLE Bible. It was more pick-n-choose kinda thing. I am now seeing that I want people on the same path as me to be in my life. I used to settle for less and that did nothing but give me quite some baggage. I don't regret anything I have done. I have learned from it all. It has only made me the strong black woman I am today. I just wish I knew then what I know now. Anyway back to what I was saying...I want the people in my life to live by the WHOLE Bible also. Yes, I know that we all fall short of the glory of God, but the least we can do is try. I know that my convictions are not going to my peers convictions and I think this is what makes this situation hard. I know things and God reveals things to me. I observe and then I go to work. I try to pass this on to people and it seems like I am failing. I know God would never give me I task that I couldn't handle, but I can never honestly say that I have failed at anything. Or at least I wouldn't call it failing. Now, bi-golly I feel like a darn failure. A simple task such as to witness and I can't even master that. Is it that I am not approaching this issues correctly? Am I being too blunt? Am I not seeking his face? Am I not into the word as much as I  should? Am I misunderstanding what God is revealing? no, I don't believe it is that one. I must find out what is though because I have to do my work so I can leave this earth and go be with my Heavenly Father.

Issue # 3- I am lonely. I know they say that sometimes you have to walk alone (in the natural), but dang does it have to like this. I mean it seems like everyone that has ever meant something to be is slowly fading away. All I can say is...." NO, DON"T LEAVE ME!!!" Currently, my best friend told me I wasn't his best friend anymore...what the heck!?! Someone I thought I was connecting with just left without saying goodbye. There was no closure or anything. I mean the only explanation I can seem to come up with is that God is trying to settle me down and get me by myself so he can use me.( no distractions)

......God, hey its me again. If this is what you're trying to do can you send me a sign and ease the pain? Can you send me someone (in the natural) that can help me run this race? Someone that will encourage me and keep me steady and focused on you. I guess you call these person an accountability partner. Not only that Lord, but a friend, a lover someone trying to live for you? Thank you, Amen.

Sorry this entry is long I just needed to get some of this stuff off my chest. I am not sad though. I think that is totally awesome. As I was sitting here typing all of this I felt the burdens being lifted.

God, you truly are an awesome wonder. No other power compares to you. Perfect in all your ways, everyday, faithful, ever true. Thank you for being all that you are to me.                                                                                                 

their eyes lock and a million emotions are stirred in her; feelings of destiny and the thought that nothing so perfect could ever be. she talked to him just hours ago, and yet already she misses him; other than in fairy tales, could a love like this ever be true? the face she'd known for just a few is suddenly the face in all her dreams, and suddenly he has shown her that some things are not just a storybook theme. eyes that were not looking for it suddenly found a kindred heart, and now she is missing a  pieceof herself whenever they are apart. she's a little scared because all of this is so new, and yet she's never felt so safe before as she does when she is with him. understanding this would be like trying to map out the stars, who knows what happens the moment when the distance is crossed between two hearts. all she knows is that he is there in a place of her she never knew existed; and although a word couldn't possibly describe this feeling, for lack of one she'll call it love.